An interoffice softball game was held every year between the company’s marketing and sales staff. The sales staff whipped the marketing department soundly 10 to 1. But the marketing department showed how they earn their keep by posting this memo on the bulletin board after the game: “The marketing department is pleased to announce that…

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“I had the strangest dream last night,” a man was telling his psychiatrist. “I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn’t get back to sleep. I…

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Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well-dressed man when he got…

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My wife and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; “Do you think there is too much sex in movies?” “I don’t know,” replied my wife. “I’m usually too wrapped up in the film to notice…

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100 years after Trump dies, he gets one day back in Earth. Trump visits a bar and asks for a beer. “So how is it in the middle east?” he asks the bartender. “Don’t worry, we’ve taken care of it. It’s all ours.” “How about China?” “Nope. Doesn’t exist anymore. All ours.” “Europe? Africa? South…

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I had been doing Tech Support for the Canon division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn’t solve. He could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance,…

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One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide. The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years. One of the tourists blurted out,…

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For the second week in a row, my son and I were the only ones who showed up for his soccer team’s practice. Frustrated I told him, “Please tell your coach that we keep coming for practice, but no one is ever here.” My son rolled his eyes and said, ”He’ll just tell me the…

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A grocery store manager chased a shoplifter through dry goods and frozen foods before catching him with a flying tackle in cleaning supplies. That’s when the manager noticed that all of the customers in line at the cash registers were staring. “Everything’s fine, folks,” he assured them. “This guy just tried to go through the…

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10. I might have a dad bod, but I’ve got a 6 pack at home! 9. Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lockdown! 8. You Smell So Good , Is That Purell You’re Wearing ? 7. swipe right! 6. “Quarantine and chill?” 5. “At this point we may never meet each…

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