Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid
- The only reason you’re awake at 4 AM is indigestion.
- 8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in.”
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you ?”
- You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You are proud of your lawn mower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age
….. and isn’t breaking any laws.
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You wear black socks with sandals.