A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

Dear Luck, …..can we be friends in 2020 Please?

I raised my left leg before the ball dropped so I could start the New Year off on the right foot.

People think New Years is a life changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

I heard Donald Trump wants to Make New Years Eve Great Again.

My 2020 resolution is for everyone else to gain the 50 pounds I refuse to lose.





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